In May of 2024, I tried to get my then-15-year-old son into an intensive mental health treatment residential program. He was starting fires, and no matter what I did to try and keep the fire-starting materials out of the house, I couldn’t. He’s had many challenging behaviors over the years, but this was the deal-breaker safety issue for me. I was afraid for our collective safety.
All 21 programs I applied to (in-state and out of state) denied him admission because of his behaviors and/or his intellectual disability.
With no other safe option, I relinquished custody to the state DHHS in August 2024 in hopes that he could get into a group home with some mental health treatment and more supervision. There were no other options. Sadly, in the year since that happened, he has cycled between group homes and juvenile detention centers, and no real help has been available.
The legal system expects him to “behave himself,” and he cannot. His behaviors are part of his disability, not a conscious choice.
He needs help and there is no actual help to be found.
His behaviors now just accrue charges. The same behaviors I have been trying to get him help for for years.
To relinquish custody and initiate the state/court involvement, it became a child abuse/neglect case to meet state criteria. An investigation was conducted, and allegations against me were “founded”. This isn’t a criminal charge, but does put me in the state database for child abuse. The founded accusations against me: failure to provide adequate supervision and failure to meet essential needs (food, shelter, clothing).
All because I could not keep him safe at home. This is not parental neglect. This is system neglect.
Each story is shared by someone impacted by untreated SMI,
lightly edited for clarity, never for meaning.
Do you have an ask? If you were sitting down with your legislator, how would you ask them to help you?
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Require DHHS to establish a no-wrong-door complex-needs placement system, so youth cannot be categorically denied care based on behaviors linked to their disability.
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Create a statutory safe harbor for parents who relinquish custody solely to obtain treatment, so they are not investigated or listed in the abuse registry for neglect when the true failure is the system’s lack of safe treatment options.
These stories aren’t for sympathy.
They are here to drive systemic change, one voice at a time.
See this story on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ending-custody-loss-care-access-sandy-pruett-project-jeepf/